It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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