So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
