It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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