I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
