Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Less talking, more tequila
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
