You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
