apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
