you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
