he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
