Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
