Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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