she smelled like a LAN party
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
