he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
