Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
