and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
