Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
