Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
