I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
