I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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