He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
