He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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