I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
