What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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