And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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