I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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