i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
