dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
