So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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