Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
