Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
