Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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