I swear she didn't look like that last week.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize