He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
