just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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