i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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