I'm going to jail i love you
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
