there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
