OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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