...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
