Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
COCAINE IS GR8
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