Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
