He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
