The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
