Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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