My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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