i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
