Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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