dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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