How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Even my vagina gasped.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You ruined the universe
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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