is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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