its not stalking. its research.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
