Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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