I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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