While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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