Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize