he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
